April's Month in Review

Hello loves! Hope everyone is having a lovely last Monday of April. It got up to 60 degrees here and I was in heaven. When I wasn't furiously writing on unexpected deadline, I was outside reading and going on walks. So happy that spring is finally here.

So, since it is the last blog post of April, I decided to do kind of a month in review. I got the idea from my blogging pal Michaela who did this a month review of her blog, "On the Cusp" last month and I loved it. So here's how April went for me!

Feeling: I've been feeling pretty down at this months. I think because the weather has been really crappy this month like it only just got sunny yesterday, that's pretty sad. I'm also really lonely, like soul-crushing lonely. I really don't get to see people often, my best friend is in Brooklyn, I don't any friends around. I just lonely. 

Wanting:  For my life to being, honesty. I feel exactly like the song at the beginning of Tangled (you know the one). I've been trying to get published on websites but I haven't made as much success as I did last month (though I have written a lot). My main goal is to try to get my finished manuscript published, try to find a full-time job that will relocate me. So far it just feels like a series of slamming doors. 

Cooking:  Fun fact: I'm actually more of a baker than a chief. I can't even touch raw meat because I have such a gross-out reaction to it. My parents and I are on the new Weight Watchers (I really want to go back down to at least 98 lbs) so I haven't been baking much. I DID make yummy carrot cake Cupcakes on Easter that I made with carrot cake mix and Greek yogurt. Plus I added some cream cheese frosting. So good!! I just bought some silicon cupcake cups on Amazon so I can make Shirley Temple Cupcakes this week and I can stop killing the Earth with paper liners. 

Drinking:Lots and lots of green tea! I'm really into matcha green tea and probably have three cups a day along with my three cups of coffee daily. :P

Watching: Omg I've just finished watching Queer Eye on Netflix and I LOVED it and needed 2x more episodes than I got. I cried at every episode because of FEELINGS!!!! I have a theory that everyone's personality is a combination of two members of the Fab Five and I'm a combo of Johnny and Antoni. Also, the Real Housewives of New York City is back and it might be my favorite season yet. Team Bethany!!

For movies here are all my favorites I've watched this month: 

-Fantastic Mr. Fox (its back on Cable so I DVR it and watched it every day for the past two weeks

-The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling (so good) 

-Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond (surprising good) 

Reading: My bestie Kat got me a copy of Amanda Lovelace latest book of poems "The  Witch Doesn't Burn In This One" and let me tell you it is fantastic. I felt so seen and deeply connected to it, crying on every single page (it was a weepy month, April showers man). Highly recommend. 

Looking: Looking forward to going to Book Con in June and being reunited with my besties because I have missed her deeply, plus I’ve never been to a con so I’m super stoked. Also, Kat and I will have new photos and stop using the ones from Potsdam, and can actually frame something!! 

Deciding: Whether I should take my novel to a small press. I've querying agents with my novel for over a year now with no success. I took a class on query writing and it still hasn't helped. I just got a rejection letter from my dream agent so I think it may be time to look at small presses. I just hope I make the right decision, but we never know what's the right decision until it's too late to do anything. 

Enjoying: I've been going for little walks every day for 30 minutes to an hour and I've been really enjoying it. I really like getting outside and listening to my music and having time to think. I get a lot of great ideas and poems that way. 

Wondering: What the hell is wrong with me? Really, I'm just wondering when things will get better for me. 

Hoping: Hoping that things will get better. Hoping to get some of my creative writing published. Hope I find a job in writing that I really like and lets me move into a nice place that I really like. Just hoping for nice things. 

Worrying: I have deadlines coming up I need to meet, I have to find a film expert to interview for an article which is surprisingly hard. Worried about the future mostly. 

Wearing: Florals. I haven’t been buying a lot of clothes lately because I’ve been waiting until I lost enough weight to go through my closet and get rid of things that don’t fit me anymore, but I did buy a few clothing items, one was the leopard print coat that I got at the thrift shop from the last post. The other is a pair of floral jeans from Target, and a floral blouse I got from Walmart. I have never been much of a flower person but with how bad the winter was, I need a little sunshine in my life. 

Disliking: Everything about my life right now. 

Hearing: 

Rose Colored Boy by Paramore (Seriously this song is so me right now) 

The Taylor Swift Reputation album (for an article I’m writing for Vocally). 

Wow, this was kind of an eye opener for me. Anyway, how was your April? Let me know in the comments. And don't forget to follow me on twitter and on my Instagram. 

Stay Stylin' 

Elle